Subrina has an intense desire to break the cycles of trauma that keep repeating in her life. She senses she has experienced severe traumas in her early childhood; however, she cannot access her childhood memories. Whatever happened to her back then has been buried deeply in her subconscious.
Over the years, Subrina has been piecing together her childhood history. She now knows that:
She spent her early years in a foster home, and her foster parents were later convicted of manslaughter and child molestation.
At the age of 5, she was adopted into another dysfunctional family where she remembers taking over the role of a spouse to her adoptive father as she grew older.
Starting in her young teenage years, she went in and out of mental institutions and ended up spending more than 5 years of her young life in such institutions.
Subrina’s arms are scarred from the self-harm inflicted when she was in distress. She sometimes experiences great anxiety when she is around groups of people or strangers because she doesn’t feel safe. At times she may be in such a triggered state that she will dissociate. Parts of her will come out and take over her life without her conscious control. This is made worse by the fact that she is not aware of all her triggers. Over time, she gradually boxed herself into a small, isolated existence to avoid triggering.
The Healing Journey Begins
Subrina’s soul chafed at the small, isolated life she was living. Rather than continuing to numb herself with pharmaceuticals, she began to explore ways to move beyond her past and live a life that she loves. Her journey took her to many teachers and therapists. She started to understand herself and embarked on a brave journey into her shadow to face her past traumas.
As she began to process her repressed traumas, her life also started to unravel. She found the journey difficult to do by herself, and she would often binge and purge on sweets to relieve her extreme anxiety, one symptom of her Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I met Subrina in September 2016. We both attended a training class led by Teal Swan for the purpose of becoming Certified Practitioners of Teal’s Completion Process. After graduating from the class, we began helping each other integrate past traumas using the Completion Process. We discovered that processing Subrina’s traumas became less difficult in the presence of safe support and deep connection.
In December 2016, she felt called to travel to Mount Shasta to work on developing programs to help people like herself. She liquidated most of her belongings, packed her remaining possessions into her small sedan, gave up her apartment, and traveled to Mount Shasta to participate in the pilot of a Safe Haven Program.
The Courage to Trust
Subrina has decided to live outside the box she created for herself. She is allowing herself to stretch beyond her comfort zone and go for a life that is worth living. She is determined to face her shadows and conquer her fears. Her faith is rock solid now that she has set fire to her life to become whole again, to be who she really is.
Already, she is drawing the right people and the right circumstances to help her with her brave journey. She knows she can expect the Universe to deliver miracles into her life.
If you feel moved to support people like Subrina on their healing journey, please visit Living JoyFully Free Foundation.